Gender Matters I

This summer my mom coerced me into going to an 8-week self-hosted bible study with the ladies in our church called True Woman 101. ( I believe my mom wants me to go because I cut my long hair off into a short pixie-cut, so she thinks my views on gender are too modern and therefore not grounded in the Bible. You can tell we live in the South and my family’s pretty conservative haha! The first week was basic introductory stuff, but now that we’ve been going for 3 weeks, I’ve been thinking.

The True View 101 website has videos where the women who wrote the class sit down and have some discussion. The leader of the discussion, Nancy Leigh Demoss, was the only unmarried woman and she asked the others a question, “As a single woman, what does it mean to me to be made in the image of God? How can I glorify God by being single?” They said that being made in the image of God as a single woman is like Christ’s being engaged to the church. As a single woman, you are in a period of waiting to be united with God in heaven. The women went on to talk about other things, but this continues to bother me. Being single is SO NOT the same as being engaged!!! This comment made me feel like I not good enough by myself. In my opinion, your happiness and self-respect should not come from your relationship status just like it shouldn’t come from your paycheck or your jean size.

-1 Corinthians 7:6-7 says, “6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”

-1 Corinthians 7:32-35 says “32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”

It’s pretty clear in these verses that being single can actually make you more useful for God. But Genesis 2:18 says, “The Lord said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'” So it seems like people are created to be in relationships, but I don’t believe everyone is called to be married. Your self-worth doesn’t depend on your significant other. Believing that it does can actually make the relationship more difficult because you are always looking to the other person for validation instead of looking to God. If you are single, like me, cultivating healthy relationships with friends and family is a great community. More deep thoughts to come!